i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
