Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
