saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
