There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
