I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
