No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
