He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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