I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Randomize
