im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
