You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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