i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
