i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
