found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
