I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
