I like to think it a success when the cops are called
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
