His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
