Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
