Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
