Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
