i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
