they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
