the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I think I am morally bankrupt
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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