True but thats because hes a fetus.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
