But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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