in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
