best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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