The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
