hotel room ftw
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
