Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
