Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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