i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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