worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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