Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
