I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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