found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
