It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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