probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
