Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
