her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
