I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
