I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So much rum. So many feels.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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