Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
