Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
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