Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
