In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
