Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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