Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
