Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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