I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
