I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
