Who did Billy Mays play for?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
