yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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