Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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