possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
