8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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