Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
