his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
