No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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