I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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