My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Randomize
